...and the cold air felt good on her stitches

This is my New Years Eve Eve blog, this is also a blog about some crazy shit that happened; you see, boys and girls, when you kvetch to the universe about your boring ass life being heartbreaking, like, oh shit Moses! get me out of this ennui...the universe sends you back something else, like craziness...maybe it is just me.

I am wrapped in disappointment, I did not pass calculus, I got a "d"...you need a "c" to take calc 2...a most certain defeat, the whole exam situation was stressful and tiring and although my GPA is fine, I still feel a little scared. I have been having dreams about being trapped in a bus station in Amarillo, it look like a mod McDonald's...and I have no money to get home and I am missing a test which I fail...shit, why can't I dream something sweet. So as I am studying for finals I am also working at Bookpeople, which is totally crazy insane...there are people all over the place asking crazy things and tearing the store apart...I really feel that all the years of retail have made me into the jaded lady that I am.

So, yeah, my life has been fast paced, the day after finals I have to meet this guy who might sublet my apt, he comes over , he seemed nice and we drank some wine and talked for awhile, my friend Marisa came over and we 3 went to La La's down the street where we got a table and drank some beer. I was finally relaxing after much stress. I remember being so happy to be listening to the music in the jukebox there, they have a great selection that I love, classic R&B, Jazz, and Blues. I think they have one of the best in Austin. We decide to leave and go to Marisa's but we left our beer at my house so I run up my steps, it was raining and I had on my slippery converse and as I ran up, my foot slipped and I fell, hitting my lip along the step edge, my teeth went through my lower lip. At the time it hurt, but not that bad...not until I got to the bathroom and saw the blood everywhere, I went to the bathtub and ran the water (my sink was clogged), I saw clump of blood splatter on the white tub...soon after that Marisa and the guy came up stairs where upon her most knowledgeable estimation - she is a hairstylist, that I needed stitches.

Well to make a long story already longer, I went to the hospital and waited for a million years. An exciting note was that when swished with Hydrogen Peroxide the bubbles were seeping out of the slit under my lower lip... all the way through with it McClure! That's the way to go! Another exciting note was the doctor told me I would have a sexy little scar under my lip :) I left the hospital with many prescriptions, a numb and huge jaw, 10 stitches inside my lip, and four on the outside, the inside were dissolving, for the outside I had to come back to the hospital on Christmas day and have them taken out. Yeah, what a pleasant situation...thank you sexy doctor for giving me codeine #3 you truly are the spirit of Christmas.

So after all of the soup eating and the hazed sleep/movie watching healing sessions, I found myself working again. It is Christmas and I find, quite to my delight that a massive face wound and bruising not only repels children, but keeps adults at bay. I should have marred myself long ago. They kept away, perhaps thinking I was an abused wife living under the freeway with 7 kids who liked a good read. Anyway, I hustled through the xmas season, my Mom felt sorry for me and bought me a huge tree which I decorated and it looked awesome through my codeine vision.

Christmas eve I worked and biked home, I stopped and bought 2 larger sized Arrogant Bastards (which were VERY arrogant to me on my birthday) and went home. I put in "It's a Wonderful Life" I took my last painkiller and drank a beer. Right about the time that the zany uncle loses the $ - that's when I got up and decided to take out my stitches, I will be damned if I was going to miss the tamale making party that my brother was having, to wait in St. David's for someone to take out my stitches ...I soaked everything in rubbing alcohol, clipped the knots and pulled out the threads with tweezers...it was odd but fine, the pain was not as bad as I thought it would be...and now I am on a rapid recovery, and it is a mere shadow of the former "Nightmare Before Christmas" style.

Now the whole sideshow is over, thankfully...the red/green xmas crap(blood/money) is over, and as I pack up all the crappy xmas landfill we call "caring", I realize that New Years is what it is all about...fresh starts, new goals and new adventures, it is unadulterated and ready to be formed...yes, the cold air felt good on her stitches.

I Feel All Fucked UP

I am sitting here blogging at Texas State instead of being a responsible citizen. I should be studying, richer, happier, younger and thinner. But no, I am just wasting time. I feel very weird lately, maybe it is that I have so many responsibilities swirling around me when all I really want is to be hanging out with someoneawesome drinking booze watching a movie or listening to music, partying with friends, not worring about passing calculus or where my next check will come from. I started working at Bookpeople again, I was working at Wheatsville but I feel unwanted there, sort of dissed, but hey, I tell myself that I have been working on my degree and that job would be temporary anyway...on the other hand Bookpeople missed me, it felt kinda nice to have people smile and say they were happy to see me, the CEO, Steve B. saw me remerchandising the Jewelry cases and said that the place needed me...too bad they pay so crappily. We had some goodtimes though...the softball games...the arm wrestling contests...yeah goodtimes. But ever since started school, it takes up most of my life, I feel like I really don't have a particuliar peer group to call my own...just a handfull of really awesome people who have been there, maybe I am lonely, maybe I am burnt out...I don't know, all I know is that for the majority of my adult life I was crazy and adventurous, traveled all over the world, worked as a fisherman, backpacked through Guatamala and slept in a hammock with a monkey, shacked up with a great 19 year old lover in Amsterdam, climbed Mayan pyramids...and now I am all depressed, eating a bag of jalapeno cheetos in the basement of the Texas State library...oi. I suppose I felt that going to school was the right thing to do, i was tired of crappy money and roomates and go-nowhere jobs, so I tried to get my shit together, you know, stop drinking like Bukoski on payday, stop wasting my money on downtown frivolities and indiscretions...grow the fuck up already! But you know what I found...boringness...yeah, I said it...being responsible is sooo fucking boring, going to bed early, waking up and drinking my coffee, shaking my angry little fist at fast drivers...shit, I am aging before my eyes...maybe I need to do something crazy and exciting (just now in my mind the thought balloon said, like go to a show downtown...GOD even my thought balloons are boring!)...okay enough of the pity party, if you have read down this far, you are awsome and I am going to make out with you, if you are my friend Laurie...I told no already! (hee hee-your my only reader Power!)
the only thing right now that gets my blood pumpimg are sexual escapades and riding my bike...I suppose that has to be enough for now.